Has “What-if?” thinking ever kept you up at night, tied your stomach in knots, or totally preoccupied you? Most of us have engaged in some form of “What-if” thinking at one time or another; in fact, the questions below may sound quite familiar:

• What if my kids make poor choices?
• What if I try and don’t succeed?
• What if don’t have enough money to pay my bills?

These types of questions can create overwhelming anxiety. The good news is you can put an end to “What-if” thinking. Here are three cures to help you do just that.

1. Ask yourself: What is? When you’re worried, your mind is filled with unfavorable situations that might occur in the future. Bring your focus back to the present. Ask yourself What is happening right now? Realise that right now you’re safe. The things you’re worrying about aren’t occurring at this very moment—if they were, you wouldn’t be asking What if?, you’d already know the answer!

Does focusing on the present mean you don’t do anything about your concerns? Not at all. If there’s something you can do to empower your children to make better choices, to help deal with the fear of failure, to get your finances in order, or to control whatever else it is that’s causing you sleepless nights, by all means take action. While you’re doing so—or if you’re worried about something over which you have no control—remember to keep focused on the now by asking: What is?

2. Ask yourself: Will it matter a year from now? Try to recall everything you were anxious about 12 months ago. Do you remember? Probably not. Many of the things we stress about are quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The next time your “What ifs” are snowballing into a massive amount of worry, ask: Will it matter a year from now? Doing so will help you to restore your perspective.

3. Affirm to yourself: I’ll handle it! If you feel that what you’re worried about will matter a year from now, affirm to yourself: I’ll handle it! You’ve already managed to work with the cards life has dealt you, and you’ll be able to deal with whatever else comes your way. The more you believe in your ability to handle all that life has in store, the more you’ll realize there really isn’t anything to worry about.

The next time those “What-if” questions take over your thinking, change your thoughts. Ask: What is? Ask: Will it matter a year from now? Affirm: I’ll handle it! These three cures will go a long way in helping you to reconnect with your inner peace.

CALM Your Worries

To CALM your worried mind, implement this proven four-step process from Calm for Women Who Worry (Hay House, 2007) by Denise Marek:

C = Challenge Your Assumptions. Most worries begin as an assumption that something you don’t want to happen might happen or that it already has. Get in the habit of challenging your assumptions before they snowball into a massive amount of worry.

A = Act to Control the Controllable. When a concern pops up, ask yourself, “Is this worry prompting me to take action?” If it is, take action. If it isn’t, move to the next step.

L = Let Go of the Uncontrollable. If you’re worrying about something over which you have no control, learn to let it go. Immersing yourself in nature, meditating, spending time with positive people, getting a massage, and writing about your feelings are among the many strategies that can you help you stop worrying about the uncontrollable.

M = Master Your Mind. Your inner dialogue largely dictates whether you feel worried or calm. Rather than focusing on the myriad of things that could go wrong, focus on what might go right. Instead of dwelling on what you can’t do, think about all that you can do. Rather than highlighting your flaws, shift your attention to your assets. In this way you regain control of your thinking and reconnect with your inner peace.

For more information visit: www.denisemarek.com

Denise Marek February 2008